4 of my favourite words to change your mind

A few tiny tweaks to the words you use can have huge impacts on your mindset and your results - here are 4 changes you can make today.

Words are powerful. And small changes to the words we think and say can have huge impacts on our mindset. 

‘Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.’ ~ Victor Frankl

Words are how we define our own emotions. Words are how we interpret things as good or bad. Words are how we express our attitude towards something. 

Let me share four of my favourite words. 

1. ‘Yet’ for skill acquisition

‘Yet’ sets you up for future success. It presupposes that you will be able to do something in the future. 

‘I don’t know how to code… yet.’

‘I haven’t reached $100k in revenue for my business… yet.’

‘I can’t do a handstand… yet.’

‘I can’t beat that team… yet.’

People with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities are fixed. They can’t change. They can’t improve. ‘I’m bad at languages’ or ‘I’m a terrible public speaker’. 

Using the word ‘yet’ automatically flips you into a growth mindset - believing that with time and effort you can improve. A growth mindset is really normal in sport. We know that we won’t be good at tennis in our first lesson, but we also assume we will get better with more lessons. Sometimes we forget this mindset in our careers.

In one fell swoop ‘yet’ tells our minds that not only is it possible for us to improve, it also assumes that we will be successful.

2. ‘Don’t’ for refusals

‘Don’t’ is a powerful word to substitute for ‘can’t’ when you are saying no. 

‘I don’t drink.’

‘I don’t stay out past 9pm.’

‘I don’t smoke.’

‘I don’t eat sugar.’

When we say ‘don’t’ it feels like a choice we are expressing. The decision is within our control. We are expressing our own identity and it makes us feel strong.

When you say ‘can’t’ you put control for the decision outside of yourself. Someone else has imposed this choice on you. It makes us feel weak. 

Marie Forleo shared research that when it comes to making better food choices, saying ‘I don’t’ is 3 times as effective as saying ‘no’. And 8 times as effective as saying ‘I can’t’. 8 times!

3. ‘Get’ for chores

There are many things we feel like we have to do in life, and nobody can claim to love all of those life admin tasks. ‘Get’ makes it feel like a choice, and not like a chore.

‘I get to pick up the kids from school.’

‘I get to make dinner for my partner.’

‘I get to have a tidy apartment.’

‘I get to study and learn.’

Not only does ‘get’ emphasise that it’s your choice to do those tasks, it also puts you in a mindset of appreciation. 

We are lucky to spend time with our kids each day, and have a partner that loves us, and a beautiful home to live in, and the luxury of time to focus on learning. 

4. ‘Excited’ for fear

‘Aren’t you scared?’ my friend asked me as we walked across a narrow bridge towards a tiny platform in the middle. More than a hundred meters below us a river inched its way slowly along the canyon floor. Turns out a hundred meters looks much further when you are looking straight down.

‘Nah, I’m excited.’ I said.

‘I think I might throw up,’ my friend continued. ‘I’m sweating like crazy, my heart is probably going to explode from beating too fast and my legs are shaking.’

‘Me too. That’s how I know I’m excited.’

‘Excited?! You’re crazy!’ she said.

We reached the platform in the middle of the bridge to be greeted by a young guy smiling broadly.

‘Ready for your first ever bungee jump ladies?’

The above is a true story. My friend and I shared exactly the same experience, and yet we reacted completely differently. She called it fear, I called it excitement. 

One word makes all the difference.

Don’t say: ‘I’m nervous’, ‘I’m scared’, ‘I’m dreading it’, or ‘I’m terrified’.

Instead say ‘I’m excited.’

‘Ready?’ asked the attendant as he tightened the bungee strap around our ankles. ‘Shuffle out to the edge, I’ll count to three, and then you jump. Head first remember?’ I nodded and flashed a smile at my friend.

‘I’m so scared,’ she whispered to me, her voice catching. But she stood up, ready to go.

‘One. Two. Three…. Jump!’ The instructors last word trailed off through the rushing of wind in my ears as I leapt from the ledge. The smile never left my face.

Later, when we sipped hot chocolates at a café overlooking the canyon my friend turned to me.

‘I know I said I was terrified, but that was SO EXCITING!’ Three tables worth of people turned to look at us. ‘Let’s do it again!’ she said.