I hate meditation. 27 tools elite athletes use to regulate emotions instead

It seems like everyone on the internet is advocating for meditation. I've never been able to make it stick. Turns out, there's a reason for that.

I hate meditation. Okay, 'hate' is strong-but I’m just not good at it, and I’ve never been able to stick with it.

I’ve tried the apps.

I’ve been to a class.

I’ve tried staring at a flickering candle.

I’ve done body scans.

I’ve tried breath work.

Half the time I end up falling asleep. The other half I just lack the will to continue every day.

I’m a professional athlete. I have insane levels of commitment and discipline.

And it seems like everyone from founders to elected officials to my CrossFit coach is a devout advocate of meditation.

So why am I such a failure?

Why is everyone meditating?

Browse LinkedIn or Twitter, or listen to any of the high performance podcasts, and you’ll find thousands of people who credit meditation for helping them:

• Improve focus and attention span

• Reduce anxiety and stress

• Be happier and more optimistic

• Better understand their emotions

• Sleep better

• Have more creativity

• Increase empathy

But the biggest thing meditation is credited for is increasing the gap.

The gap between…

…feeling and choice.

…action and reaction.

…impulse and intention.

…stimulus and response.

…emotion and wise action.

‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.’ ~ Viktor E Frankl

Meditation helps you increase the space.

But it turns out it’s not the only thing that works.

Turns out, meditation is not for everyone

Ethan Kross is a psychology professor who, in his book SHIFT shares several insights:

• Humans all use multiple tools to regulate their emotions.

• Each person typically uses 3-5 strategies regularly

• Many of the others strategies don’t suit them at all

In short, mediation is just one tool. And it’s not for everyone.

Here are 23 others that athletes use on a regular basis:

Shift your senses

🎶 1. Music: There’s a reason every athlete walks into the arena with headphones on. Build a playlist of your personal 'greatest hits' to boost your mood and energy on demand.

👃 2. Smell: Scent is a shortcut to emotion, because the part of the brain that processes smells is very close to memory. Fresh cut grass can send you straight back to your childhood. What scent can you associate with calmness, energy, or fun?

🧸 3. Touch: The feel of the beach volleyball spinning in my hands is a cue for my mind to focus in on the point to be played. Similarly, a really long hug, a soft blanket to snuggle into, petting your dog - these are instant tools to change your emotional state.

🌅 4. Visual: Look out the window, not at your inbox. Clouds, art, and colour all work as well. If you’re feeling down you tend to look down. Simply looking up can lift your mood.

🫰 5. Triggers: Tony Robbins was the first to popularise this technique. Each time you feel powerful and strong, you repeat the same physical gesture. Next time you need to tap into that emotion, simply redo the gesture.

Reframe the situation

⏳ 6. Mental time travel: After a huge loss, an athlete is devastated. One technique that works is viewing that game in the context of our entire careers. Ask yourself 'How will I feel about this in 5 years?'

🏆 7. Reflect on your past: In tough training sessions I often remind myself that I’ve done even harder things before. Even though it hurts now, there’s a good chance I’ll make it through this too.

🗣️ 8. Think in another language: Literally. If you speak a second language, studies show that reframing your situation in that language can decrease the emotional impact.

🗯️ 9. Change your self-talk: A very cool technique (known as illesim) where you use your own name or the word ‘you’ to talk yourself through your problems. ‘You’ve got this’ or ‘People are counting on you to stay calm’. You’re separating your psyche into two parts, and addressing one as though you would a friend.

🙂 10. Relabel your emotions: Ask an elite athlete how they are feeling before a game and they’ll tell you ‘excited’. Ask an amateur and they’ll say ‘nervous’. Labels matter. Say ‘upset’ instead of ‘devastated’, or ‘ecstatic’ instead of ‘happy’ to change your emotions.

🧠 11. Visualisation: A close cousin to meditation, visualisation involves imagining in great detail how you want things to be. You’re seeing - and feeling - the future before it happens.

⛰️ 12. Feel small: Get out in the vastness of nature - hike a mountain, stare at the horizon of the ocean - and you'll remember you're a tiny speck, on a tiny planet, in one of many universes. Your problems will seem smaller.

Shift your attention

🏃‍♀️ 13. Distract yourself: The moment I lose a match, I go straight to the ocean. You don’t have to deal with that difficult thing immediately. Go for a workout, watch TV, read a book, spend time with friends - then come back to it.

⏰ 14. Wait: ‘Time heals all wounds’ is a saying for a reason. You still have to do the work, but the work is easier once a little time has passed.

💪 15. Go into your body: In sport, before a big point, the pressure mounts and your muscles tighten. Consciously thinking about relaxing each part of your body downshifts your emotional state.

🫁 16. Breathe: Slow, deep breaths stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This reduces stress hormones and lowers your heart rate - automatically making you feel calmer.

🎯 17. Focus on a single thing: For me, it’s always the ball. When I feel stressed - fans screaming, close scoreline, tired legs - I simply refocus on the ball. Single mindedness increases the space in your mind between emotion and action.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 18. Focus on your teammate: Freaking out about your own emotions? The quickest way to snap out of it is focus on someone else. Celebrate them. Support them. Tune into them.

Switch up your environment

🪴 19. Design your space: From the comfort of your chair, to the lighting in your room, to the plants in your home - these all enhance your mood. For me, the sun is a magic mood enhancer.

🏖️ 20. Change your location: Get outside is a big one. Visit your favourite place. Or just book that holiday (who doesn’t feel better on the beach?)

Tap into the people around you

👂 21. Great coaches: A great sports coach might commiserate briefly with an athlete. But they almost immediately switch to helping you reframe the situation. Who are your people?

🔁 22. Don’t obsess: Talking through something again and again and again and again does not help. Call the person that loves to jump into solution mode instead.

😄 23. Call your happy mates: Energy is contagious. Spend time with people who when you see their name on your phone make you smile.

🪜 24. Use social comparison as fuel: Look at the player who beats you. Don’t think ‘they are so much better than me’. Instead go with ‘if they can do it, there’s a good chance I can figure it out too.’

Change your culture

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 25. Name social norms: Sometimes we feel upset, ashamed, or inferior simply because of the norms of our culture. Not because we deserve to. Recognising that makes us feel it less.

👥 26. Change your group norms: You become like the 5 people you spend time with - and that includes your mental state. What are the emotional habits of your friends? Can you lead your friendship group to change?

🚪27. Leave toxic cultures: Sometimes the best way to protect your emotional state is walking away.

The bottom line

Meditation is awesome - for a lot of people.

But it turns out meditation isn't the only tool for emotional regulation. And if you’re like me and it isn’t a good fit for you, you’re not a failure.

You only need 3-5 techniques that really work for you. The secret? Find your own mix.

‘If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.’ ~ Daniel Goleman