(Re)framing feedback like an athlete

Athletes are addicted to feedback, but when it comes to work, we think very differently about feedback. Here are three ways we need to reframe our thinking.

‘No.’

‘No.’

‘Still wrong.’

‘Do it again.’

‘Again.’

‘Not good enough. Again!’

‘A little better. We’ll try again tomorrow until you get it right.’

I hear the above shouted in quick succession at me.

It sounds like abuse. But it’s just feedback. You would hear the same from any coach on any field, court, or athletic track around the world.

But you never hear it in the workplace.

If you did, that person is likely to be shipped off to HR before they can get the third demand for ‘again’ out.  

Why is feedback so different in a different context? There are 3 feedback framings in sport, that we often lack in the workplace. They could make all the difference to your team.

First – feedback is a signal of care, not criticism

I have trained with many, many coaches over my sporting career. The worst coaches are not the critical ones.

The worst coaches are the indifferent ones.

Getting to the end of a training session only to be told… nothing… is a horrible feeling. And since I pay my coaches out of my own pocket, I’d probably ask for my money back!

Every time my coach gives me feedback I know she is paying attention to me. I know she cares about me. I know she is invested in helping me get better. If my coach pulls me aside at practice to give me feedback, I often feel privileged that I’m getting extra coaching.

But if your manager pulls you aside at work and says ‘I’ve got some feedback to give you’ what’s your emotional state? A sinking feeling in your gut? Frantic anxiety as you think back over the last month and what you might have done wrong? Worry about your job or your bonus?

Why don’t you feel cared for? Why don’t you feel privileged?

It takes time to think of helpful feedback. It takes attention to personalise it. It takes thought to deliver it well. Your manager doesn’t do all that if they are indifferent to you.

We need to reframe feedback as a signal of care, not criticism.

Second – feedback is based on your goals

‘National Championships are in 4 months. I need a difficulty score of 12.5, and execution scores of at least 8.2. That’ll qualify me for the Australian team,’ I said.

‘Good – that’s a clear goal to aim for. What about World Champs after that?’ asked my coach.

‘I’d really like to add the triple somersault to my routine....’

‘We’ll start doing the drills for it this week.’

It’s a perfectly normal conversation from my trampolining career.  

But at work we often don’t articulate our personal goals at all, or if we do, we feel pressure to write the boring SMART goals our managers have come to expect (and that we don’t care about at all).

‘Get promoted.’

‘Deliver that project.’

‘Fix that weakness.’

Yawn. Not nearly as exciting as a triple somersault!

I’ve had some strange goals at work.

‘Get so good at making slides that people want to steal them.’ (6 months later I had a team from a completely different division unknowingly present some of my own slides back to me!)

Or, one of my current goals is to speak at TEDx Sydney. It’s perhaps helpful to my job in a roundabout way, but most importantly it’s personal. It matters to me.

The best coaches, and the best leaders, know exactly what each individual on their team wants to achieve – whether that keeps them at the company long term or not.

Then they frame their feedback around helping them achieve their goals. I’m excited to get feedback when it’s helping me get closer to what I deeply care about achieving.

And the best employees have a clear understanding of the company’s goals (and their manager’s goals) and frame their upwards feedback around them.

We need to reframe feedback around goals.

Third – feedback is focused on continuous improvement

‘You’re doing great.’

‘Yes, but how could I do better?’

‘There’s no need to change anything. You’re good.’

I’ve had this conversation at work many times. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be told you’re doing well (definitely nicer than the alternative!) But reaching competence and then just staying there isn’t very exciting.

Usain Bolt didn’t win his first Olympic gold and say ‘that’s fast enough’.

Rafael Nadal didn’t win one Grand Slam, shrug, and say ‘that’ll do’.

Michael Jordan didn’t win one ring and say ‘there’s no point in trying to get any better’.

The very best in the world are still trying to get better. Their coaches are telling them, ‘you’re the fastest of all time, but let’s try changing this technique to make you a hundredth of a second faster’.

At work, there is a tendency for managers to invest in giving feedback until people are doing well, and then they stop. Or they might switch their focus to helping other team members get up to standard. We stop at competence, when we should keep going to world class.

We need to reframe feedback to focus on continuing to get (even) better.

3 reframes we can learn from athletes

‘No.’

‘No.’

‘Still wrong.’

‘Do it again.’

‘Again.’

‘Not good enough. Again.’

‘A little better. We’ll try again tomorrow until you get it right.’

This was the side of a sporting field. But imagine that this is your manager looking over your shoulder as you work on a line of code, or an excel formula, or a legal argument.

How would it feel if you had a framework of feedback that was based on goals, care and continuing to get even better?

It’s no secret I love feedback – both in my sports, and in my workplace. I value it so much I pay my coaches for it (I hope my manager isn’t reading this and deducting feedback fees from my next pay check!)

If you reframed feedback at work, would it change how you receive it? Would it change how you give it?

Other resources I love on feedback:

• Stop learning to give feedback. Learn to receive it. Blog by Wes Kao

• Thanks for the feedback. Book by Douglas Stone

• Radical Candor. Book by Kim Scott