The exact tactics to make NETWORKING your superpower: PART 2
What should your 1-line opener be when you go up to someone at an event? Does cold-outbound work? How can you make people want to do warm introductions for you? And ways to interview your heroes.
Where is the best place to ask a new person out?
Online dating apps? Do they even look like their picture…
At a bar? With all your mates watching to see if you fail…
At work? Super risky, you’ll see that person every day if it doesn’t work out…
My friends laugh at me when I say airports.
Why airports?
People are bored so they won’t brush off a friendly conversation. They are often sitting on their own and easy to approach. And you know you have something in common - travelling! Plus you’ve got the easiest conversation starter in the world: ‘where are you going?’.
Importantly, it’s also the easiest place to ditch them if the chemistry isn’t there: ‘I’ve gotta go catch my flight - cya!’
That’s dating, but you’ll just have to trust me that it works for networking too.
Booking continuous flights around the world to network your way to your dream job and find the love of your life is impractical though. So let’s talk about the second best place: events.
If you haven’t already, you should read Part 1. It’s all the pre-work you need to do before you start networking. This post is about putting your pre-work into practice.
Making events epic
Events are not about collecting 100 new LinkedIn connections. I’ve done that before, and none of them went anywhere. That’s like swiping right on 100 people on Bumble and still being single at the end of it. Consider an event a success if you make 1-3 excellent new connections.
Top tip: The speakers are the most interesting people in the room. Research who they are in advance and hunt them down.
1) How to talk to anyone
As a teenager I was very introverted, and shy. One of my mentors gave me the advice: ‘compliment, then question’.
This advice was for talking to boys (I can confirm I’ve used it at airport gates), you’ll just have to trust me that it works for networking too. Some compliment-question combos I’ve used:
I love your [jacket, hairstyle, bag, phone case etc], where did you get it?
You seem to know where you are going, could you help me?
You seem so engaged and like you are loving the event so far. What made you want to come to this event?
Your point about [X topic] really made me think, I wanted to ask you about [a question]
You have great [posture, energy, smile etc], what has been your favourite session at the event so far?
Your story about [X topic] was so uplifting, I saw everyone in the group smiling with joy, how did you learn to tell such compelling stories?
The food you’re holding looks delicious. Are you a local? Do you know a great spot to go to eat?
Use this technique to talk to the person behind you in the coffee line, to the speaker who is going on stage next, to the person next to you in the auditorium, or even to the cute person whose number you might want to go home with.
2) Catch the speakers before they go on stage
Speakers have to be at the event early for sound check, to meet the other panellists and the hosts, and to do any media and photo requirements.
After they speak, they will be swamped with other event attendees wanting their time. You will not stand out. Before they go on stage is your best chance to get a quick one-on-one conversation in with them.
Show up early.
3) Get on stage yourself
An even better way to speak to the other speakers, is to be one yourself - it instantly makes you a peer. They’ll assume that you’re worth speaking to because you’ve been pre-vetted by the event organisers.
Bonus of this strategy - you get a free ticket to the event.
Have 1-2 topics you are known for. Tell people you speak about those topics. Post on social media about them. Pitch to event organisers with those topics.
You can think about your topics across 3 domains:
Expertise - eg. Athlete Mindset
Industry / Audience - eg. Startups
Demographic - eg. Gender, age, ethnicity, disability, nationality, personal background, sexual orientation etc
When someone is putting together an event, I can say: ‘I speak about bringing the athlete mindset [expertise] from elite sport to startups [industry / audience]’.
Your demographic is mostly relevant for diversity. Love it or hate it, event organisers are conscious of putting balanced panels together. You may end up as the only woman on a panel of 3 men. Or the only immigrant on a panel of white people. We’d love if we were invited on stage for our expertise alone, but sometimes its both your expertise and your demographic.
Cold outbound (only if you have to)
Warms introductions - where a mutual friend generously hands you off to the person you want to meet - are the best. Sometimes you can work your way up to a warm introduction by building relationships with other people in their network.
But sometimes we have to go direct.
Don’t be like this person (they only way I know they aren’t a robot is they spelt my name wrong!)
Top tip: Short and personal opens the online door. A short message shows you respect their time. A personalised message shows it’s them specifically you want to connect with.
1) Pick the right channel
Getting someone’s email by guessing their domain feels invasive to me. It’s like a telemarketer in your inbox. Just don’t do it.
For networking X (send DMs) and LinkedIn (use the ‘add note’ option when you send a connection request rather than ‘in-mails’ as these go to a random inbox) work best.
If your target person is highly active on an online community like Discord, Reddit, Instagram, a Slack group etc then it’s completely appropriate to engage with them there. If they have their own blog a huge hack is hitting ‘reply’ on their posts to land directly in their inbox (you can do this with my blogs!)
2) Send a killer connection request
In the 200 characters of a LinkedIn connection request can you:
Use their name
Use your credibility + commonalities + curiosities you established in part 1
Bonus: A compliment and / or a reason to connect immediately
I know people who’ve used ‘I’ll be in your city next week’ to add urgency, and only booked the flight after they got the meeting scheduled!
Warm introductions
After spending the last 5 months in the USA, I'm struck by the willingness of Americans to make introductions. Versus how reluctant we are to do the same in Australia.
Speak to someone for 3 minutes at an event, and they'll offer up a contact. Meet someone for the first time, and they'll make three new intros for you after the call. Play tennis with someone and inevitably they’ll say ‘you should meet so-and-so’.
In Australia, we don't make an introduction unless we know both people well. The onus for making sure the introduction is a valuable use of time is on us as the facilitator. And when we make an introduction, we have a sense that we are asking someone for a favour. We are spending our social currency.
But in America, introductions are EVERYWHERE. It's up to the recipient of the introduction to decide if they want to take the meeting. No hard feelings if not. Making a good intro isn't spending your social currency to ask for a favour on someone's behalf, instead it's a way to increase your status.
It's like American's realised that all business is done by people, so helping people connect is the obvious thing to do. Introductions fuel the economy.
TLDR: Be more American.
Here’s how to make the most of a warm intro.
Top tip: Make your warm intro even warmer by giving personal compliments to both people. It implies that if they take the intro you’ll also speak highly about them in future.
1) Forwardable emails
Best practice is ALWAYS double opt-in. The introducer checks with both people whether they want to be connected, and only if they get two ‘yes’ answers is the intro made.
Your job is to make it take just 15 seconds for someone to reach out to their connection and make this ask.
This is the email structure I use:
Subject line: ‘Thanks for introducing me to XXX’
1 sentence: Personal note to sender
2 sentences: Why you want to connect (use your commonalities + curiosities from part 1)
1 sentence: Your offer of value
3-4 dot points: About you (use your credibility from part 1)
1 sentence: Thank you and compliment for the introducer
Email signature: Must have your contact details (including phone and where people can find you on the web)
Similar to a cold outbound, you can add a time element as well to increase the likelihood of a quick response. Eg.
I’ll be in your city these dates
I’m leading the investment into X company, and it’s a great fit for your investment thesis if you were interested in joining the current round
I wanted to invite you to speak at this event
2) You’re in! What’s the second email?
Congrats, the person said yes to the intro and your friend has connected you. What next? Be speedy with your email reply - you’re the one that asked for the intro so you have to jump to do the work of the next step.
Thank the person who introduced you with something more meaningful than just ‘thank you’
Move the introducer to bcc
Suggest a number of times (if it’s a zoom call, suggest times in their local time zone to make it convenient)
3) Follow up
You’d think if someone said yes to an introduction they’d be up for a meeting.
But… I’ve been ghosted at this stage plenty of times.
If they don’t reply after 2 weeks, it’s appropriate to follow up once with a one sentence ‘quick circle back on the below email’ message and some new proposed times.
If you still don’t get a reply, don’t harass them. I usually try getting an introduction from another person (sometimes the 2nd time's the charm). Otherwise, let them go.
Meetings
You’re on their calendar. It’s go time.
Early in my career as an athlete I used to feel like Olympians were out-of-reach superstars. I’d watch my heroes on TV and think they were perfect.
Then I played against them. And trained with them. And travelled with them.
Turns out our heroes are human too. They put on their sunscreen just the same.
I try to take that mindset into every meeting. No matter how much you admire someone, they have doubts, they make mistakes, they like compliments, they enjoy a laugh… just like we all do.
Top tip: Make your energy memorable - be more human and less professional
With that attitude in mind, here’s how I structure a 30 minute meeting:
4 mins: Rapport building - skip the weather, and jump right into commonalities
Know they love travel? Ask about their last / next trip
Know they are active? Ask about their sport or fitness training
Know they are speaking at an event you are going to? Ask them how their preparation is going
1 min: Frame the meeting - What you hope to get out of it, plus your offer of value to them
4 mins: Your story - Just the key points
Weave in your credibility, commonalities and curiosities
End the story with your ask / reason for meeting
4 mins: (Optional) Their story - This is optional because you’ll have done your research and know their story already.
But, letting them tell their story can make the meeting feel more like 2 peers talking rather than a supplicant asking for help (this only works if the level difference between you isn’t large. If you're meeting Obama…)
Or, you could ask them to tell you about a specific part of their story that is not already in the public domain. Eg. Their rationale for taking a particular role.
12-15 mins: Discussion Q&A - Make it a conversation, not an interrogation
1-5 mins: Your offer
If your offer can be delivered in the meeting (eg. I often share dealflow from the Australian market with US based investors) then use 5 mins here, if not then use 1-2 mins
1 min: Wrap up
Thank them with a specific mention of something you valued from the conversation
Compliment them
Sum up any action items
And show respect for their time by always finishing on time.
Going steady
You’ve had a meeting, and hopefully you hit it off. How do you turn your first date into a long term relationship?
There is the immediate follow up, and then regular touch points.
Top tip: Anytime you hear someone speak highly of the person, pass it on. This is the perfect touchpoint to keep you top of mind.
1) Follow up email
Send it within half a day of meeting the person. I reply to the existing email thread. This is the format I use:
Compliment
Reminder of who introduced us
The value I got out of the session
Restating my ask from the meeting (or if they made an offer in the meeting, then restating what they offered so they’ll action it)
Restating my offer
2) Circle back to the introducer
A quick email sharing your highlights from the meeting back to the person who made the warm intro goes a loooong way. This has the quadruple benefit of:
Being another touchpoint to build your relationship with the introducer
Making them more likely to make future introductions for you
They might speak highly of you next time they connect with the person they introduced you too (remember making a good intro increases their status, so it’s in their interests to remind both of you that they made that intro)
They aren’t left wondering if their intro went anywhere. If they follow up with you and ask, you’ve gone really wrong here.
3) Lightweight touch points that add value
Some easy ways to stay top of mind, add value, and start building a long term relationship:
Pass on compliments from other people - eg. I met this other person you know and they said ‘X nice thing’ about you. Quote them verbatim for more impact.
Share your content - eg. This blog post I wrote is on the topic we touched on in our call
Make valuable introductions - eg. I met a founder who is right on thesis for you, can I make an introduction?
Report back on taking their advice - eg. I implemented that strategy you taught me, and here was the outcome. Thank you for the on-point advice.
Share content they’ll find interesting - eg. I know you are researching X topic, perhaps you’ve already read this report, but if not the content is excellent
Give them a shout out publicly - eg. I wrote this post about my favourite female VC investors in the USA
Send them a thank you gift - eg. I’ve had founders send me some of their product for free as a thank you for mentoring them
Write a public review for their podcast / book
Comment on their social media / blog posts
Be an active member in the communities they run
Stay top of mind, and then in a few months you can reach back out for another call. A few months later, maybe you can propose a lunch when you’re in town.
‘I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ ~ Maya Angelou
Small step by small step you become a trusted and valued friend, not just a networking contact.
Building your brand
Every day people share their challenges with each other in conversation. If you were to imagine two people talking, what do you want the topic to be for someone to say ‘You need to meet Christie’.
For example, I’ve referred people to my friends for all of these challenges:
I need to hire a gun marketing person
I’m looking for someone to speak on a climate tech panel
I’m thinking about getting a personal trainer
I have an event and need a great videographer
I need someone that understands both Chinese and English
I’m looking for an executive coach that knows startups
Our sales are stalled and I don’t know how to improve things
I’m trying to raise money
I wish I knew how to negotiate better
Top tip: Teach your friends and network how to talk about you. What problem are you the go-to person for?
Me? I want people to think of me for 2 things: speaking on Athlete Mindset, and great founders looking to fundraise. This is the brand I’m building.
It’s right there in my LinkedIn heading. It’s what I lead with when I introduce myself. It’s what I ask everyone I know for referrals on. You’re probably sick of hearing me talk about it.
‘Networking is not about just connecting people. It’s about connecting people with people, people with ideas, and people with opportunities.’ ~ Michele Jennae
I also say ‘no’ a lot to requests outside of these two things. If I said yes to things that are only peripherally connected to my brand, I dilute my brand.
So… what is your brand?
Have a reason to reach out
Ready to take it up a level? An elite way to network is to develop a legitimate reason to reach out to someone you don’t know for an in-depth conversation.
Have a podcast - now you’ve got a reason to interview people.
Invest in startups - if you’re writing checks you’ve got a reason to reach out to founders
Write a blog - this is a great platform to speak to experts to profile in your next post
Establish a community - you can invite people to be members or special guests
Run an event - you get to decide who you want to speak and reach out to them
Top tip: Your platform doesn’t have to be big (it’s actually surprisingly hard to find out how many readers or downloads someone has), but it does have to be very high quality for people to want to be linked to it
This strategy really puts the ‘work’ in networking. BUT, if you build your project to a compelling enough level, it allows you to reach out to people far beyond your current network because you’re offering them a platform to promote themselves in exchange.
It also means you can jump right into an extensive conversation where you ask all the personal and specific questions you want, without needing to spend as much time relationship building.
When I wrote this series on retiring from your sport or startup, I reached out cold to Vaughan Fergusson who is the founder of Vend (he sold the company for $500M). It was one of the most insightful conversations of my year, and it only happened because I had my blog as a reason to reach out.
At the time I had just 200 subscribers. Size doesn’t matter 😉
Rejection
In the past 5 months I met Partners at 96 funds in the USA. I also attended 49 events. And I had 197 one-on-one meetings with other people in the startup and sporting industries (athletes, founders and operators).
But I also had:
7 people send warm introductions to a single fund, and I still haven’t been able to get a reply, let alone a meeting
Someone tell me that my ‘Australian VC experience counts for nothing’ and that I would need to start all over again in the USA at an analyst level
Over 10 people who accepted a warm introduction, and then never replied to any follow up emails
Multiple people cancel scheduled meetings
No-shows to scheduled meetings
And hundreds of emails sent into inboxes, never to be responded to
That’s a lot of rejection.
Each time it happens I remind myself of the hundreds of people that said ‘yes’ when they could have said ‘no’ (or said nothing at all).
Remember rejection is not personal - how can it be when they don’t even know you yet? People are busy, they have families and goals and demanding bosses and complaining clients.
‘Don’t be upset when people reject you. Nice things are rejected all the time by people who can’t afford them.’ ~ Unknown
Networking is your new super-power
I’ve shared a lot of numbers in these posts to give you a sense of what a focused effort on networking can result in. But, for all that I’m a competitive athlete, for all that I shared those numbers with you, the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is:
Don’t keep score.
You aren’t collecting contacts, you’re building new friendships. You aren’t looking to get something, you’re aiming to give more than you receive. You aren’t looking for a quick win, you’re looking for people who add energy to your life.
Networking is work, and I hope these techniques make it easier. I’d love you to add me to your network and tell how what started as work ended up as you meeting your future customer, boss, best friend, business partner, or even your future life partner.
Bonus points if it happened in an airport.
Christie this was great. As an Australian that was living in the USA for 10 of the last 15 years there where two things I found odd and infuriating coming back here during COVID , getting a warm intro from an Australian is like winning lotto and why don't pitches have Asks? Both things seemed insanely immature.
I have met you a few times when you were at Blackbird and I have been following your American Journey with a big smile on my face as you see who much more reciprocity is in the culture there. Well done.
Christie this was great. As an Australian that was living in the USA for 10 of the last 15 years there where two things I found odd and infuriating coming back here during COVID , getting a warm intro from an Australian is like winning lotto and why don't pitches have Asks? Both things seemed insanely immature.
I have met you a few times when you were at Blackbird and I have been following your American Journey with a big smile on my face as you see who much more reciprocity is in the culture there. Well done.